Some Thoughts on BDSM

Tomorrow night I am going to meet some of the local BDSM members of the city. What the fuck is BDSM you ask? It basically stands for Bondage,Domination/submission, Sadism and Masochism. Though I think I am less inclinded to lean towards pain than other areas I am not that much against it.

It's a lifestyle I have found fascinating since the first time I heard about it and took the time to read up on it. Played a bit online for about a year or two, met some in real life and found for all intents is purpose, I found everything interesting. IT is also not what most people think it is. It's not just sex though sex has it's role. It is alot more, much much more. Scenes don't always end in sex, in fact, there is alot of affection and tenderness between Dom and sub after a scene. The true members of this lifestyle spend alot of time planning scenes, making sure they don't go beyond the limits of the sub, ensure safety is always enforced and ensure the sub has an out, should things get over whelming.

What makes BDSM dangerous, are those who think of it as a game, don't follow basic safety rules, are looking just for kinky sex or to beat on somebody in an aggresssive and uncaring manner.

Also, not everybody in the lifestyle likes bondage, or S&M. Some perfer the simple Domination/submission aspect all on it's own. I am still trying to figure out just what draws me to the lifestyle. THe leather, the roles, domination and submission, fascinate me. Bondage I am not too interested in. Pretty boring just to tie somebody up. However, sometimes that is what the sub needs, or it can be used as a punishment. However safety is very important. Especially when 'slavery' is no longer allowed. A willing slave, somebody who submits their freedom to a Dom or owner, is altogether different. In the end, the sub can just leave, it's not like the Dom is going to send goons after the escaped slave and drag her back kicking and screaming then hobble her.

As I mentioned at the top of my blog, I am going to be meeting people who are part of the local BDSM scene. It's just a casual social gathering, not a place where people will be scening. A chance to meet them and see if I can find a Dom/me who will mentor me. I want to be a Domme, I want to be in charge. I don't think I have a particularly domineering personality, in fact many people may think I am too timid or shy to be the 'take charge' type of person. Thing is, I do take charge and often ensure things go my way. I just don't stand there and demand it, I just am sneaky about it. However lately I find I want to be more direct than being sneaky to get what I want.

I tried the submissive thing online years ago and found it rather boring. I just couldn't fully commit myself to doing things solely to please a Dom/me. Sure I can do nice things for people but to serve them hand and foot, submit to their desires, allow them to lead the scene...found it just bored the hell out of me. After awhile I would just wander off...and online, it's very easy to walk away from the keyboard to come back with the Dom/me 'yelling' for my attention LOL. I typically just say I had to go to the bathroom and some would say in return I was not given permission and I mentally think, go ahead and try and stop me. This all leads me to feel I am not real submissive material.

Anyway, will let all my readers know how the gathering went tomorrow. Till then, remember my cardinal rule. 'Spank your partner today, you may be surprised to find they like it!'